The Struggle Is Real
So I have been more stressed than normal this last month. How do I know this? Because both Levi and I got really sick this last weekend!
It all started when I heard a terrible cry from Levi’s room last Saturday morning. I bolted in and it smelled horrid (not unusual because he poops in his sleep). Well, this time was not that case. Vomit everywhere; poor guy. That day he had diarrhea but recovered quickly. We got our carpets cleaned on Monday and I thought we were good to go!!
Wrong. On Monday I was really nauseated from constipation – I don’t get morning sickness but I do get constipation quite often. I couldn’t eat anything that day, which is odd for me. I realized it wasn’t just constipation when I woke up to vomit at 2am. After that, I had liquid diarrhea 32 times the following day (yes I kept track cause I was so in shock!). Thank heavens I live with in-laws because I had to stay in bed all day with nausea and constant bathroom trips. It was not good!! And yes, I cried a few times because I thought I was going to die haha.
I lost five pounds in the course of this!!! But I am so happy that I’m back to normal and will surely put the weight right back on. 😉
I know why I’ve been so stressed, and hopefully I can overcome these things so I don’t get sick again:
- Joe leaves for Malaysia this month for two weeks
- I’ll have to teach Sunday School twice by myself (Joe and I team teach)
- We moved Levi into his new room to prepare the nursery for Sunny girl and it’s hitting me: Levi is getting so old and we are having two kids!!!? Am I ready for this!???
So there you have it. To be honest, when I’m stressed, I don’t function as well. I have a harder time staying positive, sleeping at night, and being patient with Levi. I feel like a failure at times because I don’t take Levi to cool outings every day “like other moms” because I can’t handle one more trip in the car (Levi has a new thing where he jumps in the driver’s seat and I basically have to wrestle him into his car seat, which isn’t easy on this pregnant mom’s back!).
So why am I telling you all of this? Because the struggle is real for us all, whether it’s small or large! Sometimes we get caught in comparing ourselves with others, or wishing we could be or do more. I know I do!!
So how do I get out of this type of depression?…
- First, I do the little things that are easy for me. I continue to study my scriptures, get ready for bed on time, make at least two healthy meals a day, exercise, pray, and write in my journal. And if that’s all I can do that day, I can still be happy about these small successes rather than getting dragged down by my so called failures!
- Realize that I add value by who I am NOW! I don’t have to wait until I’m a better wife, mother, or member of the community to have value. The world needs me – all of us – the way we are right now! Otherwise we wouldn’t be here. This truth saves me on the daily.
Well, I hope my vulnerability helps at least one other person feel like they’re not alone. Because none of us need ever be down or depressed for too long – at least that’s what I have concluded as I remember to do the things mentioned above. I’m in no wise a perfect mom, wife, or anything in the sense of the word. However, I AM perfectly me, and that’s all God really wants us to realize, anyways. Now to end with one of my favorite quotes from the movie Wreck it Ralph:
I’m bad, and that’s good. I will never be good, and that’s not bad. There’s no one I’d rather be than me.
In reality, people aren’t “bad” or “good”, they are just people. Someone is not more valuable because he is more righteous than another. We are all valuable because of our uniqueness! And nobody can ever take that away from us. 🙂